On Fear

(Val Kilmer, My future husband, Shane Black)

"For most people, fear is daring to wish for something so bad that it matters to you, and then having that taken away.  Fear is, I'm not going to get the things I want, and I'm gonna lose the things I have already. That's what fear is, to me.  The idea of getting your hopes up? [When I was starting out] I would get my hopes up, and someone would say, What if they just smash you? And then you'll feel worse than ever! And I'd go: Oh, well, I know. I'd rather get my hopes up.”

"Here's what the fear does: it's something called 'The Jack Story.' Jack Story's about a guy who's driving and boom, his tire blows out in a rain storm.  By the side of the road, flat.  He sees a farmhouse in the distance with a light on, and he thinks, I don't have a jack, I can't change this tire - but maybe the farmer has one.  So he starts walking through the rain and the mud and after a couple of feet he thinks, Well, wait a minute, what if I get to the farmhouse and the guy doesn't have a jack?  Then I gotta walk all the way back and I'm getting rained on and it's murder.  And he goes, Calm down, it hasn't happened, see what happens, play it by ear, okay?.......”

To read the rest of the story, click here. It's from Billy Mernit's wonderful interview with Shane Black, screen writer of Lethal Weapon, The Long Kiss Goodnight and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.

 

If anyone else has ever had imaginary conversations in their head with people about future events that haven’t happened, then that post may give them goose-bumps too. 

As a wise person (who I pay money to, to make me feel good,) once said:

"What Ifs - are just anxiety. They are not helpful." Banish them!

Easier said than done.