You Don’t Win Friends With Salad

Today I lost half my salad on the floor of a busy shoe store.What does one do when they see their precious lettuce, olive and fetta scattered across the carpet, like a Ken Done creation? They smile graciously, and gently gather it up in their bare hands. Then they go in search of a suitable bin to give it a dignified ending. Finally they subtly lick the salad dressing off their greasy hands and take comfort in the fact that the rest of their salad is still intact, as long as one doesn’t mind eating it out of the plastic bag it has just spilt into.