Cocktail Epiphanies

Rain beats down solidly for the second day in a row since my Aussie friends have left, and while I’m not feeling as devastated as I did yesterday, there’s still a sad empty feeling lingering in my heart.

The weird thing is, we hadn’t really been that close before they came. Two of them - I didn’t even know. But sometimes, on holidays, magic happens.

After a week of living purely in the moment - of bonding over chicken wings, hang-over brunches, endless shopping, and stories from our past, we managed to create that feeling you get between friends who have known each other forever.

Our crew consisted of... a dear college friend, Chelsea, who is as fabulous as she is outspoken, smart and funny. She kept us in fits of laughter with stories about the men she’s been dating, and never ceased to draw people in our direction. I had the experience of walking down a SoHo street with her and we got paparazzied! Very cool. We pretended it was totally normal for us until we rounded the corner and gave each other [the girl equivalent of] a high-five.

Chelsea managed to pick up a young woman at the luggage carousel in the JFK airport. A bright, confident and driven 24yr old, fleeing Australia fresh off the heels of a relationship break up, in pursuit of a fashion internship and a glamorous life in New York City. Ironically she was subletting in Harlem, and was the only white girl on her street. Her presence was fun and a gentle reminder of what it’s like in your early twenties... and how life gets easier with experience.

Our fourth member, was my gorgeous sister-in-law-to-be, Maz, who booked this trip on a whim as a last overseas jaunt before marriage. Maz was fun as always and all class - introducing the expression “I feel like a busted piece of ass!” to New York each morning after our cocktail infused evenings.

Of the male variety there was a spunky old-college “sepo” sometimes present in the evenings…. plus another guy friend of Chelsea’s, who was on a 30 day round the world mission of self discovery - thanks to an early bout of relationship experience, that luckily for him has taught him some huge lessons that most people don’t get to learn until well into their 40’s.

Maybe it was because we’re all on the brink of going through some exciting / scary changes in our own separate lives. Or maybe it was that we knew it was a special time and wanted to make the most of it. What ever it was, this trip will connect our time together forever. Just like the childhood holidays you have as a kid.

A few big lessons came out it for me. Firstly, I gained a special confidence that one gets when they are reminded that everyone has similar issues that they go through. Even people that appear and act to have it all together.

I also gained a sister!!... by getting to know how awesome my sister-in-law-to-be is, and how in many ways she reminds me of my wonderful step-mum, Abby. We talked relationships a lot and her pearl of wisdom that has stuck with me, among others, is that no matter what - if there’s something on your mind - always, always talk about it, no matter how hard or how much it might hurt the other person to hear.

Heaven to my ears. Frankly you could talk to me about relationships forever. Dating someone? Married? Come talk to me, I want to hear it all.

So another issue the group discussed was how important it is to keep your own identity within long-term relationships, and always take time for yourself…. and yr friends! This is huge for me because I’m actually a little identity clueless about myself. Having tied my identity to peers, my ex partners, my job and even my family, for so long now, this year - alone in NY is a revelation for me. I’m starting to get to know my true self for what feels like the first time.

***

Last week picked me up and shook me by the tail feathers. I learned a great deal and am still chewing stuff over before I discuss it here. One thing I’m incredibly happy about, is that despite drinking all week, I didn’t park one tiger. It’s a miracle people! And because of the hangover-nausea each day - I hardly ate - and may have kicked my food obsession. Hurrah!

So let it rain New York. Let me figure out what I'm really here for, and let this sad feeling be a reminder of just how much friends and family really mean.