- It’s late, dark, cold and I’m the only one on the street heading towards a gang of dodgy looking guys from ‘the hood’ wearing hoodies. I hum the Seinfeld theme tune – something I do to turn scary situations into oddly funny ones.
They let me pass without mugging me, and because of my forced ‘Jovialness’ I notice how funny their baggy pants look, hanging half way down their butts.
- I open my eyes early one morning, and am greeted by Ada’s horrified stare. She has been peeping around the corner staring at me, and has forgotten that I am staying with her and sleeping on her couch. I’m scared she is going to flip out, so I hum the Seinfeld theme song, and the situation seems oddly comical.
- I accidentally walk right in on Ada, pamper’s around ankles and sitting on her porta potty. Our eyes lock – she looks as mortified as me. I flee and hum the Seinfeld theme song.
- I’m in the doctor’s surgery waiting for my Aunt, and a skinny lady with a caramel perm comes to the reception and yells to the staff - ‘You need to put a sign and make men using the bathroom to put the seat down! I refuse to touch the seat! It’s unhygienic! I mean what kind of person leaves the seat up! It is a big health issue! You gotta do something about this!! I am not going to be able to use the toilet here!’
Everyone in the waiting room is staring at this is woman, including my Aunt who is hard of hearing. No Seinfeldian music needed… this is already an episode.
Thank you Larry David.
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