Pensiv-vania

Heading to Philadelphia this weekend...

BigCity HardSpirit

Saturday evening, I was walking down into the subway when a bunch of people stood on the stairs, blocking my way as they took pictures of the train across the platform.

I barreled through them, my inner monologue raging “God-damed  tourists, haven’t you ever seen a f*king train before.”

I looked at the train, and then realized there was someone on the tracks underneath it. All I could see was a man’s twisted hand, emerging from a navy hoody. He was definitely dead.

Then a train pulled up on my side of the platform, and like most people there, the thought  “If I don’t jump on this train, it could be hours before they let another train into this station”. And with that, we got on - silently taking a seat next to people unaware of what lay less than 5 meters away.

I tried to grasp what I had just seen, and why I didn’t feel… anything. I told my Newyork friends about it, and they agreed that when crazy shit happens we often don’t register. It could be shock or self preservation. They then went on to tell their own tales from 9/11 and other events that have warranted unexpected human reactions in themselves.

The next day, at the same station I looked for evidence of the man’s death. A tiny red X marked in electrical tape smaller than my hand lay where his body had been. I wondered if this is how ants feel, when we kill one, and then watch as the other ants survey it, passing a message down the ant line, and then continue about their antly duties in a slightly new direction.

Then a train pulled up on top of the mark, and I went to class.

The Future is Awesome

Going to the movies is awesome, but how often do you scan the listings and realize you’ve already seen the one movie of interest, and now you wish you’d been born a teenage boy, because seriously how many action/thriller/horror movies are there compared to a compellingly awesome female driven movies?

Well, a new film company, called Horsethief Pictures – headed by a former PayPal executive, is allegedly taking a step in the right direction, which I believe will CHANGE EVERYTHING!

The company has only talked vaguely about notions of audience participation, and distributing movies online prior to cinema release, but f*ck yeah! It’s the beginning of movies that are consumer driven, rather than studio driven. And just like we waited and waited for something like the iphone to come along... so must we wait for this.

I would happily pay $13 in advance to a movie distributor who promised me a strong female lead, or an amazing writer in the genre of romantic/comedy/drama, or a movie based on an awesome book, or on a topic I’m into… all before the movie has been made. Why? Because I know I’d go and see it anyway, and this way I’m helping more movies get made aimed at my particular demographic. The audience would essentially become micro investors by paying in advance.

This is how I imagine the future of movies being made. Is it realistic? I have no idea. It's not what Horsethief are doing at all and perhaps I’m oversimplifying.  For starter’s you’d need a hell of a lot of people to pay up front to get a decent film budget. But WHATEVER! I can dream. I believe there are way more awesome stories out there to be seen that are not getting made because of a system that is becoming outdated. 

Bring on the future of story telling. Bring on 3D television and virtual reality concerts, where instead of watching Beyonce perform, you can feel what it's like to be on stage with her.

Bring on jet packs, bring on phone companies with simplified billing structures, bring on computers that can read brain activity (and illuminate the need to type) and bring on the ultimate invention... the un-losable umbrella!

Passionate Post

My brother J-Rad is a passionate guy. He detests people who cough on planes, the song 'We Are One', cheese cake and many things too un-pc to put in writing. So when he loves, he also loves passionately:

"Something has been on my mind recently. It holds me captive day and night in an inescapable cell: I am Andy Dufrene, but I don’t have a rock hammer or a poster of Rita Hayworth. I am Lincoln Burrows but Michael Schofield is not my brother.

…And to what do I owe this ongoing, esoteric, cerebral enslavement? The humble Japanese Curry, as prepared by the master chefs at Hanaichi."

Read the rest of his post  here.

General Updates

-       New York has convinced me to apply for a Visa through my new job. If it goes through I can continue for another 6 months to a year. 

-       Puchased a pair of Blue ear muffs! And  they rock my world:

-       Started bangra (or sexy-bollywood dancing) at the gym is the funnest  bestest class I’ve ever done. Moves include “Shoulder up, shoulder down” and “calling the boys.”

-       Doing musical Improv classes, and finding it challenging, irrationally scary, and sometimes even rewarding.  It includes making up songs on the spot and singing them to the entire class…. SOLO! So it’s mostly gut wrenchingly terrifying, and I have had a lot of fails.

-       Still procrastinating instead of writing. Uuuuggg!

-       Boys… no goss. My Australia Day kiss has disappeared from memory. I went hiking and tried my best to flirt with the single neurosurgeon guide, but was totally ignored.  Tequila boy dared to make contact with me, and I was very civil and upfront about happy at being friend – without benefits. ;) We are now ‘cool’ and are no longer worried about running into each other at our mutual bar.  (although seriously, bring on any awkward situations!)

-       I’ve had a cold/flu for three weeks! And it’s reeking havoc with my life and moods. 

Never Too Late

One of the reasons why I looooved the movie The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, was the message that rang through towards the end. So beautiful and hopeful; it’s enough to make me want to kiss its writer – Eric Roth, on the mouth.

Just imagine you discovered  your real father was someone you never met. Then imagine you found a letter addressed to you that read:

“It’s never too late… or, in my case, too early  to be whoever you want to be.. There’s no time limit, start anytime you want...change or stay the same...there aren’t any rules...We can make the best or worst of it...I hope you make the best...I hope you see things that startle you.  Feel things you never felt before.  I hope you meet people who have a different point of view.  I hope you challenge yourself.  I hope you stumble, and pick yourself up.  I hope you live the life you wanted to...and if you haven’t, I hope you start all over again.”

Lessons from Relationships Past

Note to self:

1.  Never take friendships for granted. Always make an effort to nurture and maintain friendships, even if it means sacrificing time with your partner.

2.  Have your own life, and don’t feel guilty about it. You don’t have to spend every spare minute with them. It’s actually just an excuse you’re using because you don’t want to do the work required to have your own thing happening.

3.  Ask for it. Ask for what you want. Tell them what you’re needs are – and a straight forward, positive and loving manner. Just lay it all on the table.

4.  Choose someone who is independent, driven and has an inner confidence. Someone who grounds you, rather than adding fuel to the fire.

5.  Don’t be lazy. Just because someone else can do something better than you, doesn’t give you permission to take the back seat all the time. Step up to the plate and grow together.