It’s only taken 3 months, but I finally get it. New Yorkers walk like they are cars, and tourists are like the annoying cyclists that are going too slow, but you can’t over take them because there’s people either side. In a car, if you lived in Melbourne, you would honk. (Queenslanders are too passive aggressive to use their horns.) But no one carries a horn with them in New York, so instead they yell curse words. And while adding an emergency ‘pull-over’ lane on the sidewalk, strapping a rear-view mirror to your head, and indicator lights to your bum would solve everyone’s problems, right now getting mad is the only solution.
Stop suddenly, and you’re likely to cause an eight person pile up, and a possible law suit. Swing your arms joyously, and you’re likely to hit someone in the nuts (see week in review), and slow down to pull out your camera or glance at a map, and you’re inviting New Yorkers to stab you violently before trampling you into pavement sludge.
Note to self: Screw the Egyptians, walk like a car.
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